There are some questions to which humans will never know the answer, no matter how hard they may try. But still, we do not give up. We try to come as close as we possibly can to an answer, for that is humanities greatest strength, the unbreaking willpower. One of these questions is how the human mind, or more specifically, my mind works. You see, even though I realistically know that every human has their quirks, it sometimes seems as though I was born somewhat weirder than other humans. Not good, not necessarily bad, but definitely different. This question has been studied by solely one person, me, for 18 years. During one of my weirdest moments, I conceived what was quite possibly the worst idea I have ever had. When I say this, I mean that while yes, I have had worse ideas in the past before, this particular idea might be the most stupid idea which I actually, seriously thought was good. Let me give you a little pitch now.
Finding love in a hungry world
Another one of the world’s greatest mysteries might just be love. What it does to humans, the way it makes them behave, the way it works, it’s all just incomprehensible. Sometimes, when it all gets too difficult for me to handle, I start to stress eat, but what does that actually get me? Nothing. But what if… it could get me something? This is where McLove comes into play. A matchmaking service/McDonalds restaurant hybrid. Find love whilst indulging in some wildly unhealthy food.
How it works
When entering your local McLove branch, you submit your basic data and perhaps an interest or two, and at the same time you place your order. Now it is McLove’s number one priority to match you with another (love-) hungry, eligible person with the end goal of creating eternal love. Then, you sit down at a table with the other person, and a very weird first date may begin.
Some issues
I know what you’re thinking, this is a perfect, flawless idea. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but there are actually some flaws. Obviously, people can still be together and love each other even if they don’t share the same taste in food. They can still hate each other if they do like the same food! Also, and more importantly, this whole idea is just plain fucking stupid. It would maybe be easier to list all of the good parts of the idea. But when I think about it, even that is hard, because there really isn’t even any semblance of a good part.
Fallout
When I pitched this idea to my entire family at age nine, they obviously mocked me for years and years and they still have not yet stopped. You may be wondering, what is the point of this whole story. First of all, it’s kind of funny. Secondly, I find it very interesting to look back on old ideas or the way you used to behave in general and see how much you’ve grown. It’s also an interesting example of how kids can be really dumb, but that’s off topic. When you get older, I think it’s harder to start new things because you think that you’re no good. Yeah, of course you aren’t, you idiot. You just started. But when you can look back on a previous time and call yourself stupid, it means you’ve grown. And another thing: you shouldn’t be ashamed to have a truly putrid idea because I think that the most important thing is that at least someone is laughing. Don’t think of ideas as good or bad, but as funny or unfunny, and I think life will become much more entertaining.